There have been two occasions in the past ten years where I found it particularly hard to let go of someone after the relationship ended. I constantly obsessively thought about them, to the point where I made myself sick. I’d be frustrated and furious over the one-sided obsession.

Why hasn’t he reached out? Wasn’t he missing me like crazy?

I should mention that both of these relationships ended on good terms. Our lives were taking us in different directions. I came to terms with the end. But still, the intense limerence persisted.

Did he really not have a teensy-weensy bit of urge to see me?

Eventually, I started to pull myself out of that gloom and did things to solidify my commitment to moving on.

I erased their numbers. Deleted pictures, even the ones in the archives that Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat like to hold on to. And I disconnected from them on social media.

A clean break.

Neither of those guys reached out to me again. I told myself that maybe someday they’d come across me again, see that I was with someone new, and for a moment, they’d feel a mix of jealousy, regret, and happiness, knowing I was doing well.

But here’s something that I didn’t expect…

The summer before I moved to Texas, I had a friendship that turned into a bit of a summer fling. Well, a summer fling was all it was to me.

The last time we spoke was soon after I moved to Texas. He mentioned making a lot of changes in his life, which included deleting our pictures. I didn’t understand why he’d want to erase our 3 years of friendship. But you do you, boo.

Soon after, I noticed we were no longer connected on socials.

Then there was that text he never replied to.

So there I was, on the other side of limerence. While I did feel hurt over the loss of the friendship, I was shocked to realize how close I was to indifference over the loss of the romantic connection.

About a year later, I looked him up. He’s engaged.

But I didn’t feel jealousy or regret. I was just content that he was happy.

I imagine those guys were probably indifferent after the relationship ended, too. And if they ever look me up, their thoughts will likely be similar.

“Good for her” and nothing more.